As of last week, my Al Stewart collection is no longer complete and as a result I've had the sensation of sitting at home while missing some incredible party ever since. The irony here is that plenty of other people haven't bought the new album and don't care. Still, it's what I care about and this is my blog so... expect a review as soon as I get my hands on a copy.
I did recently get British Sea Power's latest album Do You Like Rock Music? and I'm prone to more or less agree with Pitchfork's review of it. (Yes, I read other critics, of course.) It's a shame when you have a band lauded for their ability to blend melodic inspiration, strong lyricism and a raw rock quality, and they come back with an album that leaves out everything but the rock. Isn't this pretty much what happened to The Flaming Lips on At War With The Mystics? The new BSP album is listenable, but it's mostly just loud and unmemorable.
I love that I can't write about music and listen to music at the same time on my decrepit laptop without iTunes skipping. Wasn't skipping supposed to be over as of the digital era?
This is funny.
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Monday, September 15, 2008
Will Smith was saving that bacon.
The thing about the trend of Chuck Norris facts, or Jack Bauer facts or Vin Diesel facts is that they're all the same: just ridiculous overstatements of superlative machismo. The comedic point that they miss is that machismo is not the only thing that's funny in a random, absurdly exaggerated "fact." And so, I thought we might turn to the world's most impressively mellow celebrity, for a true spectacle of cool good-guyness.
Will Smith facts:
Will Smith is a nice guy in real life.
Will Smith has never been angry.
Will Smith is so nice because, yes he's from Philly, but he also spent time on Sesame Street as a child.
Will Smith is married to Jada Pinkett Smith.
Will Smith has a partner named Jazzy Jeff and they are best friends.
Will Smith is a good tipper.
Will Smith got in one little fight and his mom got scared.
Will Smith makes this look good.
Will Smith drives a Bentley convertible.
Will Smith loves his kids.
Will Smith has been drinking, bitch.
Will Smith changes his identity more often than he changes his underwear. Oh wait, that's Fletch.
Will Smith was only in The Legend of Bagger Vance as a favor to a friend. He'd make a bad movie for you too, if you asked.
Will Smith doesn't have to curse in his rap to sell records.
Will Smith just can't sit, and the reason for that is that he's gotta get jiggy wit it.
Will Smith almost played Neo.
Will Smith thinks gangsta rap is whack.
Will Smith needs you to hold this pie.
(I'm not really expecting this to become an internet phenomenon, but feel free to contribute if you like.)
Will Smith is expecting this to become an internet phenomenon.
Will Smith facts:
Will Smith is a nice guy in real life.
Will Smith has never been angry.
Will Smith is so nice because, yes he's from Philly, but he also spent time on Sesame Street as a child.
Will Smith is married to Jada Pinkett Smith.
Will Smith has a partner named Jazzy Jeff and they are best friends.
Will Smith is a good tipper.
Will Smith got in one little fight and his mom got scared.
Will Smith makes this look good.
Will Smith drives a Bentley convertible.
Will Smith loves his kids.
Will Smith has been drinking, bitch.
Will Smith changes his identity more often than he changes his underwear. Oh wait, that's Fletch.
Will Smith was only in The Legend of Bagger Vance as a favor to a friend. He'd make a bad movie for you too, if you asked.
Will Smith doesn't have to curse in his rap to sell records.
Will Smith just can't sit, and the reason for that is that he's gotta get jiggy wit it.
Will Smith almost played Neo.
Will Smith thinks gangsta rap is whack.
Will Smith needs you to hold this pie.
(I'm not really expecting this to become an internet phenomenon, but feel free to contribute if you like.)
Will Smith is expecting this to become an internet phenomenon.
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
and turn it up
While my resolve to update this blog regularly remains uncompromising, I seem to have somehow missed the whole of August, and now find myself much like Rip Van Winkle - largely unread. Permit yourself a chuckle. I guess I just thought that the entry in which I ripped the hell out of Katy Perry (glossed up harlot) would be enough to satisfy what few readers I had for some time. No, the truth is that my new living situation creates a confluence of circumstances that tend against my updating, but I will try more diligently to swim against the current. I've also been thinking about creating a new blog to house my film reviews, but don't worry, this would ideally be like a sister project, rather than a complete change of focus.
I'm not much of a nerd (my definitions of "nerd", "geek" and "dork" may require some clarification, but suffice it to say I consider myself to be only the latter two), so those who are should be warned that the following information will seem pretty obvious, and everyone else should be warned that it will seem fairly boring. I recently discovered that the various data tracked by iTunes, which happens to be one of the most compelling reasons for using it, can be exported and manipulated with other software. One of my experiments subsequent to this discovery was to compare the total number of plays of songs by each artist. I found that if you were to take the top few artists as sorted by this total - five or so of them, just to choose a number at random - you come up with a list of artists that looks very much like the personal top five that I gave in my first entry. You may recall:
1. Al Stewart
2. The Pogues
3. Guided By Voices
4. Damon Albarn
5. The Smiths
That list was something I came up with on my own as a thought exercise. The list created by this new method was remarkably exact for the first three entries, but with certain adjustments to the last two:
1. Al Stewart
2. The Pogues
3. Guided By Voices
4. Elvis Costello
5. Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds
Now, Damon Albarn's absence is to be expected, as he has a tendency to record under various different names/projects. For the record, Blur comes in 16th place, Gorillaz in 22nd and The Good, The Bad and The Queen doesn't rank in the top thirty. Combined, his various works still only come in 6th. Meanwhile, The Smiths, venerable as they are, reach only 9th by number of plays. In any case, it seems the others will have to welcome Mr. Costello and Mr. Cave to the top five, as honorary members.
I warned you it was boring.
When I'm at a party or a bar and in a sufficiently festive mood (an element which I assert is not entirely determined by the presence of alcohol) I have an unfortunate proclivity towards singing. I have an accomplice with a similar predilection, and a obsession with music that resembles my own in scale, if not in form. Indeed, we've discovered that while our tastes diverge in many places, they overlap at such unlikely points as KMFDM, The Misfits and Alkaline Trio. The last of these in particular, he assures me is perfect for singing in front of a crowd (what's our angst for, I suppose, if not to amuse and terrify other people?) and so we have taken, at social gatherings, to doing just that. My friend's taste runs toward the more anthemic, Radio, Blue in the Face, This Could Be Love... great songs, all. But as far as I'm concerned, the most important quality in a song for this purpose is the presence of that devious wordplay that fans of the band so appreciate. Which leads to my own choices for the Top Five Alkaline Trio Songs to Sing Out Loud:
5. We've Had Enough (Good Mourning)
What could be more appropriate at a party in this day and age than a song with the line "please turn that fucking radio off" in it? Maybe "please turn that fucking iPod loaded with stolen T-Pain songs off." Doesn't really flow though.
our bed's this concrete floor and it's all we have left to live for
4. Emma (Good Mourning)
The lyrics to this song sorta speak for themselves. I mean... uh... okay, there's every possibility that that statement was either nonsensical or tautologous, but anyway:
a pointsettia in poison rain
traded true love for insult and injury
washed it down the drain
with one silver bullet and two vicodin
Brilliant, right? The imagery there is great, and it's quite singably catchy. Lines like "into my lap like a heart attack" suggest painful and destructive love/hate, which makes it perfect for singing over a strong drink.
a nightmare on my street the day she arrived
3. Private Eye (From Here to Infirmary)
We actually had a third guy join us on this song, and it got pretty raucous. At least, for as much of the song as we all could remember the lyrics, which are quite complex. Despite sounding nothing alike, the song evokes Elvis Costello's Watching The Detectives lyrically. I'm also fond of the bit starting "New Year's Eve was as boring as heaven" and of course "I won't have to quit doing fucked up shit." We can all cheer that one together, can't we?
raisin dry
2. Continental (Good Mourning)
Most memorable for its refrain, which may be better simply replicated than described:
you had nine lives and one by one you chewed em up,
your final coffin nail's been driven way too much
"this won't take long," you said, "I'm not going far
go wait in the car"
Rich with lines that use clever puns to speak volumes emotionally, this is in my experience one of Alkaline Trio's most popular songs, and not for nothing.
a mess like this stuck on your hands with crazy glue
1. All On Black (ibid)
Probably the high point for Alkaline Trio wordplay, with a motif of color running throughout and riddles for refrains. A vocal barrage of intricate lyrics delivered in a breathless rush by Matt Skiba which is hard to emulate... but that shouldn't prevent you from trying.
no color you're all dressed in
You might notice that most of those are from the same album. My reply would be... Well... that shit happens sometimes. I like their other albums too. I promise. Except Crimson.
So, I guess Counting Crows and Maroon 5 are like a thing now. Do most people feel about Maroon 5 the way I feel about CC (which is to say, that anyone who can't appreciate them is overlooking something)? Because I think Maroon 5 is sonically repetitive and lyrically illiterate tripe for children.
The new Penny Arcade comic that went live today is about Jonathan "Motherfucker" Coulton. I can only assume the robot he seems therein to have just made carnal acquaintance with is VH1's mascot. That's right sir, you are still on the fallen hero list.
geek: Anyone with a consuming interest or hobby that involves the collection of information that most would consider esoteric.
dork: A person who, while not entirely without social graces, can be socially clumsy at times. (Especially applies when the pursuit of a geeky hobby is to blame.)
nerd: One who pursues esoteric knowledge of a particularly academic or technical nature, and is proficient in such fields.
I'm a fan of all three, really.
I'm not much of a nerd (my definitions of "nerd", "geek" and "dork" may require some clarification, but suffice it to say I consider myself to be only the latter two), so those who are should be warned that the following information will seem pretty obvious, and everyone else should be warned that it will seem fairly boring. I recently discovered that the various data tracked by iTunes, which happens to be one of the most compelling reasons for using it, can be exported and manipulated with other software. One of my experiments subsequent to this discovery was to compare the total number of plays of songs by each artist. I found that if you were to take the top few artists as sorted by this total - five or so of them, just to choose a number at random - you come up with a list of artists that looks very much like the personal top five that I gave in my first entry. You may recall:
1. Al Stewart
2. The Pogues
3. Guided By Voices
4. Damon Albarn
5. The Smiths
That list was something I came up with on my own as a thought exercise. The list created by this new method was remarkably exact for the first three entries, but with certain adjustments to the last two:
1. Al Stewart
2. The Pogues
3. Guided By Voices
4. Elvis Costello
5. Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds
Now, Damon Albarn's absence is to be expected, as he has a tendency to record under various different names/projects. For the record, Blur comes in 16th place, Gorillaz in 22nd and The Good, The Bad and The Queen doesn't rank in the top thirty. Combined, his various works still only come in 6th. Meanwhile, The Smiths, venerable as they are, reach only 9th by number of plays. In any case, it seems the others will have to welcome Mr. Costello and Mr. Cave to the top five, as honorary members.
I warned you it was boring.
When I'm at a party or a bar and in a sufficiently festive mood (an element which I assert is not entirely determined by the presence of alcohol) I have an unfortunate proclivity towards singing. I have an accomplice with a similar predilection, and a obsession with music that resembles my own in scale, if not in form. Indeed, we've discovered that while our tastes diverge in many places, they overlap at such unlikely points as KMFDM, The Misfits and Alkaline Trio. The last of these in particular, he assures me is perfect for singing in front of a crowd (what's our angst for, I suppose, if not to amuse and terrify other people?) and so we have taken, at social gatherings, to doing just that. My friend's taste runs toward the more anthemic, Radio, Blue in the Face, This Could Be Love... great songs, all. But as far as I'm concerned, the most important quality in a song for this purpose is the presence of that devious wordplay that fans of the band so appreciate. Which leads to my own choices for the Top Five Alkaline Trio Songs to Sing Out Loud:
5. We've Had Enough (Good Mourning)
What could be more appropriate at a party in this day and age than a song with the line "please turn that fucking radio off" in it? Maybe "please turn that fucking iPod loaded with stolen T-Pain songs off." Doesn't really flow though.
our bed's this concrete floor and it's all we have left to live for
4. Emma (Good Mourning)
The lyrics to this song sorta speak for themselves. I mean... uh... okay, there's every possibility that that statement was either nonsensical or tautologous, but anyway:
a pointsettia in poison rain
traded true love for insult and injury
washed it down the drain
with one silver bullet and two vicodin
Brilliant, right? The imagery there is great, and it's quite singably catchy. Lines like "into my lap like a heart attack" suggest painful and destructive love/hate, which makes it perfect for singing over a strong drink.
a nightmare on my street the day she arrived
3. Private Eye (From Here to Infirmary)
We actually had a third guy join us on this song, and it got pretty raucous. At least, for as much of the song as we all could remember the lyrics, which are quite complex. Despite sounding nothing alike, the song evokes Elvis Costello's Watching The Detectives lyrically. I'm also fond of the bit starting "New Year's Eve was as boring as heaven" and of course "I won't have to quit doing fucked up shit." We can all cheer that one together, can't we?
raisin dry
2. Continental (Good Mourning)
Most memorable for its refrain, which may be better simply replicated than described:
you had nine lives and one by one you chewed em up,
your final coffin nail's been driven way too much
"this won't take long," you said, "I'm not going far
go wait in the car"
Rich with lines that use clever puns to speak volumes emotionally, this is in my experience one of Alkaline Trio's most popular songs, and not for nothing.
a mess like this stuck on your hands with crazy glue
1. All On Black (ibid)
Probably the high point for Alkaline Trio wordplay, with a motif of color running throughout and riddles for refrains. A vocal barrage of intricate lyrics delivered in a breathless rush by Matt Skiba which is hard to emulate... but that shouldn't prevent you from trying.
no color you're all dressed in
You might notice that most of those are from the same album. My reply would be... Well... that shit happens sometimes. I like their other albums too. I promise. Except Crimson.
So, I guess Counting Crows and Maroon 5 are like a thing now. Do most people feel about Maroon 5 the way I feel about CC (which is to say, that anyone who can't appreciate them is overlooking something)? Because I think Maroon 5 is sonically repetitive and lyrically illiterate tripe for children.
The new Penny Arcade comic that went live today is about Jonathan "Motherfucker" Coulton. I can only assume the robot he seems therein to have just made carnal acquaintance with is VH1's mascot. That's right sir, you are still on the fallen hero list.
geek: Anyone with a consuming interest or hobby that involves the collection of information that most would consider esoteric.
dork: A person who, while not entirely without social graces, can be socially clumsy at times. (Especially applies when the pursuit of a geeky hobby is to blame.)
nerd: One who pursues esoteric knowledge of a particularly academic or technical nature, and is proficient in such fields.
I'm a fan of all three, really.
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