Will Smith was saving that bacon.

The thing about the trend of Chuck Norris facts, or Jack Bauer facts or Vin Diesel facts is that they're all the same: just ridiculous overstatements of superlative machismo. The comedic point that they miss is that machismo is not the only thing that's funny in a random, absurdly exaggerated "fact." And so, I thought we might turn to the world's most impressively mellow celebrity, for a true spectacle of cool good-guyness.

Will Smith facts:

Will Smith is a nice guy in real life.

Will Smith has never been angry.

Will Smith is so nice because, yes he's from Philly, but he also spent time on Sesame Street as a child.

Will Smith is married to Jada Pinkett Smith.

Will Smith has a partner named Jazzy Jeff and they are best friends.

Will Smith is a good tipper.

Will Smith got in one little fight and his mom got scared.

Will Smith makes this look good.

Will Smith drives a Bentley convertible.

Will Smith loves his kids.

Will Smith has been drinking, bitch.

Will Smith changes his identity more often than he changes his underwear. Oh wait, that's Fletch.

Will Smith was only in The Legend of Bagger Vance as a favor to a friend. He'd make a bad movie for you too, if you asked.

Will Smith doesn't have to curse in his rap to sell records.

Will Smith just can't sit, and the reason for that is that he's gotta get jiggy wit it.

Will Smith almost played Neo.

Will Smith thinks gangsta rap is whack.

Will Smith needs you to hold this pie.

(I'm not really expecting this to become an internet phenomenon, but feel free to contribute if you like.)

Will Smith is expecting this to become an internet phenomenon.